One night my wife and I were invited over to dinner by some friends. We had only been married a year or so. I will never forget the young married couple we met that night. They spoke all night long about how they never argued, never hurt each others feelings and always served each other above themselves. They didn't have to say it, but they supposedly had the "Perfect Marriage!" "How could this be?" I thought to myself. "I am a Pastor and my wife and I fight like cats and dogs." I started getting sick to my stomach. It sounded like the Brady Bunch marriage on steroids! I wanted out!
What was going on? Leslie and were both committed to Christ but we had, what I thought a normal amount of conflict in our marriage. Didn't all marriages? We were and still are passionate people, with lots of opinions and both a decent amount of personal horse power!
We work hard to keep peace in our home, to love each other well and seek reconciliation when offenses are made. We did NOT and do NOT have the "Picture Perfect Marriage" to say the least. Our Marriage was and still is hard work. It is though, with out a shadow of doubt, the most rich and rewarding relationship I have on earth!
My father (A christian psychiatrist) always told me. "Son, there are only two kinds of marriages in this world. Hard marriages and bad marriages. The bad marriages are those that don't work at it. Anything of value takes hard work. The hard marriages are the good marriages! They work hard at loving God and each other and you can bank on it that these are the couples that will get a good reward in their relationship"
Wow, how true is that? Leslie and I have been married close to eight years. We do everything we can to work on our marriage, we are committed to each other, no matter what, in sickness and in health till death do we part. I meant what I said! Today, I am learning more and more to find joy in the hard work of marriage. I am seeing that the more I strive to love my wife, the more I grow in my relationship with God. He is for the permanency of marriage you know (Malachi 2:16)? He likes it when we obey and will reward us!(Hebrews 11:6).
I encourage any married couples to realize this simple truth, "Anything of value takes hard work." You don't find exceptional leaders that haven't paid the price for their excellence. Just ask anyone you know who is an exceptional leader, and you will discover they put in the hard work!
One day we all will stand before God and give account for our everything we did.(2 Cor 5:10) Yes, this includes your marriage! Did you work at it when things got tough? Or did you disobey God and quit? Let me encourage you friends, when it gets tough, dig in and remember anything of value take hard work!
oh yeah, the Brady Bunch couple later had to face their issues of denial, avoidance, and all other sorts of dysfunction in counseling. LoL.
Recommended Resource: Sacred Marriage
Definitely true. My bride and I have only been married for a year, but I flip when people try to tell me with a straight face that they never fight AND have a great relationship. I know sociologists have shown that even if you can't communicate well, it's actually far healthier to have erratic fights (followed by those bipolar happy times) rather than never fight... just because if things are erratic, then you are at least communicating. Excellent thoughts. Thanks for sharing
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